Kung Fu Panda 2 (2011)

Rating : 3.5/4

When evil prevails, when dark days are here to stay, when the good are on their way up and when all hope is lost, you can count on the the Dragon Warrior for deliverance. Mind you thats not much of a comfort because, he may be the Dragon Warrior, but until the nick of time he still is every bit the same stupid fat voracious cuddly squishy panda called Po(Jack Black). And thankfully so, if you ask me. Ain't that what we love him for? Who needs originality when familiarity is this much fun.

The movie begins with a prologue about how Lord Shen(Gary Oldman), son of an Emperor, embraces the dark side to prevent a prophecy foretelling his undoing, from coming true. He uses his spare time, during his banishment from home, to create the one weapon that evokes submissiveness through fear. Just as Po is beginning to live his dream as the Dragon Warrior, staying with his kung fu idols - Tigress, Monkey, Viper,Mantis and Crane - and everything around is boringly peaceful, Lord Shen not-so-subtly returns home to make things interesting.

If Panda-1's Tai Lung and Master Shifu reminded you of Darth Vader and Master Obi-Wan^*, Panda-2's Lord Shen is bound to remind you of You-Know-Who. The prophecy, the parents.. the similarity is so obvious that Po might as well be called Harry Po or The Panda Who Lived. But I'm not complaining because any similarity ends there. Every time there is an attempt at poignancy by someone or a grave situation pops up or a grim tone tries to seep in, leave it to the Panda to reduce everything into a rip-roaringly hilarious affair the very next moment. Armed with unintended irreverence, immunity from sarcasm and abysmally low self-esteem, this Panda is going to hurt your innards. Visually, theres so much to savour in so little time. Gongmen's city, where most of the action takes place, is beautifully vibrant and artistic. Theres so much happening in the co-ordinated and expertly choreographed action sequences that we are bound to miss a few things. Slo-mo is used to good effect, serving the dual purpose of hiking up the 'coolness' and also making sure we dont blink and miss something that shouldn't be missed. The voice cast is joined by a couple of newcomers among whom Gary Oldman as Lord Shen stands out. His deliberate and unhurried delivery of lines, well- accentuated by pauses, oozes menace. When Lord Shen isn't talking, he shows us how deadly a peacock's dance can be. So any doubts about a peacock making a worthy nemesis are sure to be dispelled once Gary Oldman and the animation wizards take over.

My complaints are but minor ones - Why is Master Shifu barely there on screen? Why din't they increase the brightness enough for 3D? The 3D itself was good though. Nevertheless, this movie is filled to the brim with worthy-sequel stuff. So snug in your thermals and head to the cinema.. this one's severely cool

^* Star Wars : Jedi Master Obi-Wan trains a young Anakin Skywalker to become a Jedi. However, Anakin turns to the dark side and becomes Darth Vader and eventually kills Master Obi-Wan

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011)

Rating: 2.5/4

The reviews have been bad, so I set my expectations low. The 3D had apparently given headaches to some of those reviewers,so I watched it in 2D. Nevertheless, the movie still managed to disappoint. The only reason this movie exists is because Disney wanted to pinch the pockets of those who wouldn't be deterred by bad reviews, one last time. Given the large fan base this franchise has garnered, I'd say they were very successful. Nothing personal, Jack... it's just good business.

The plot isn't very original, but it is at least as interesting as its predecessors. This one has Jack Sparrow(Johnny Depp) forced to guide an expedition to the fountain of youth by Blackbeard(Ian McShane); tagging along is his daughter, Angelica(Penelope Cruz) who also happens to be Jack's ex-flame. Two other factions, one led by Barbossa(Geoffrey Rush) on behalf of the Queen, and another by a bunch of Spaniards (who barely have any screen time) are in the race too. The destination itself, of course, lies beyond a perilous journey across mermaid-infested waters, forests, cliffs; all this while everyone is uncompromisingly involved in standard pirate activities like mutiny, desertion and double-crossing.

All this could have worked had the humour and action sequences been more imaginative. As it is, there aren't any hearty laughs to be had. Sure we laugh, but not because the humour is genuinely funny, its because we know that it is supposed to be funny. Johnny Depp, whose Jack Sparrow unsurprisingly generates most of the half-hearted laughter, does not bring in anything new. He follows the 'Jack Sparrow template' which has begun to lose its sheen. Penelope's Angelica is pretty, daring and sadly obligatory. The director fails to realize that even obligatory roles can be made 'interesting' especially when Penelope Cruz is involved. None of the action sequences are noteworthy. Mermaids as deadly seductresses and an encounter with them sounds promising; unfortunately, what could have been a spectacular action scene turns out to be underwhelming and criminally unimaginative. Word of advice to director - when you are trying to tame deadly dangerous other-worldly creatures, let go of your ego and consult Peter Jackson, and on an unrelated note, between you and me, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade isn't obscure enough to be ripped off from.

The movie is not so bad as it is disappointing - disappointing that it has ample opportunity to redeem itself but settles for mediocrity. The film has its moments - Judi Dench's hilarious 'is that all?', Jack starting a mutiny, Blackbeard's menacing and charismatic villainy, breath-taking aerial shots and sets(or are they visual effects?) - but they are few and far between. They are more than counter-balanced by the likes of, say, the ill-advised romantic subplot involving a mermaid and a clergyman(Yes, the clergyman gets laid).

I wouldn't advice watching it, but again, if u are like me, you already did.

Fast Five (2011)

Rating: 3/4

We got Vin Diesel and The Rock pitted against each other when in not one of their best moods.We got lightning streaks masquerading as cars and a director with a fetish for reducing them to pulp every other moment.We got frikkin' hot girls trumping men in the strictly-men's world. This is one cocktail you dont miss and go around calling yourself an action movie buff. They got the combination right the fifth time around.

The two action sequences at the beginning and the end are the stand-outs. The latter one, which involves a runaway vault, isn't like anything that I have seen before. Thats not to say this is a landmark action film -it shamelessly copies from Bourne and Ocean's movies, it threatens us with Vin Diesel trying to emote, and it pits two midgets against Vin Diesel and The Rock. It actually heps that the pace never allows you to delve on anything as long as you are in the theater. Be warned, if you are a thinker, you will hurt yourself watching this movie.