Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011)

Rating: 2.5/4

The reviews have been bad, so I set my expectations low. The 3D had apparently given headaches to some of those reviewers,so I watched it in 2D. Nevertheless, the movie still managed to disappoint. The only reason this movie exists is because Disney wanted to pinch the pockets of those who wouldn't be deterred by bad reviews, one last time. Given the large fan base this franchise has garnered, I'd say they were very successful. Nothing personal, Jack... it's just good business.

The plot isn't very original, but it is at least as interesting as its predecessors. This one has Jack Sparrow(Johnny Depp) forced to guide an expedition to the fountain of youth by Blackbeard(Ian McShane); tagging along is his daughter, Angelica(Penelope Cruz) who also happens to be Jack's ex-flame. Two other factions, one led by Barbossa(Geoffrey Rush) on behalf of the Queen, and another by a bunch of Spaniards (who barely have any screen time) are in the race too. The destination itself, of course, lies beyond a perilous journey across mermaid-infested waters, forests, cliffs; all this while everyone is uncompromisingly involved in standard pirate activities like mutiny, desertion and double-crossing.

All this could have worked had the humour and action sequences been more imaginative. As it is, there aren't any hearty laughs to be had. Sure we laugh, but not because the humour is genuinely funny, its because we know that it is supposed to be funny. Johnny Depp, whose Jack Sparrow unsurprisingly generates most of the half-hearted laughter, does not bring in anything new. He follows the 'Jack Sparrow template' which has begun to lose its sheen. Penelope's Angelica is pretty, daring and sadly obligatory. The director fails to realize that even obligatory roles can be made 'interesting' especially when Penelope Cruz is involved. None of the action sequences are noteworthy. Mermaids as deadly seductresses and an encounter with them sounds promising; unfortunately, what could have been a spectacular action scene turns out to be underwhelming and criminally unimaginative. Word of advice to director - when you are trying to tame deadly dangerous other-worldly creatures, let go of your ego and consult Peter Jackson, and on an unrelated note, between you and me, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade isn't obscure enough to be ripped off from.

The movie is not so bad as it is disappointing - disappointing that it has ample opportunity to redeem itself but settles for mediocrity. The film has its moments - Judi Dench's hilarious 'is that all?', Jack starting a mutiny, Blackbeard's menacing and charismatic villainy, breath-taking aerial shots and sets(or are they visual effects?) - but they are few and far between. They are more than counter-balanced by the likes of, say, the ill-advised romantic subplot involving a mermaid and a clergyman(Yes, the clergyman gets laid).

I wouldn't advice watching it, but again, if u are like me, you already did.